


Biology

by Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts



Series: YCTH!Verse [13]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Angel Dust-Typical Sexual Content (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Awkward Sexual Situations, Cajun Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Demon True Forms, Dry Humping, Eggs, Grooming, Love Bites, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mild Blood, Semi-Public Sex, Shapeshifting, Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Trans Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Trans Male Character, Weird Biology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23175166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts/pseuds/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts
Summary: Sometimes a demon can't help but give in to their more animalistic nature.(A collective of drabbles set in YCTH!Verse in no particular order)
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: YCTH!Verse [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569163
Comments: 46
Kudos: 628





	1. Velvet

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter takes place after Flirting at a Camera but its not necessary to read first. All that needs to be known is the boys are married and Angel does camwork.
> 
> I've based Alastor's asexuality on an aversion to most bodily fluids and a dislike of feeling trapped but he's not fully sex-repulsed so occasionally they find workarounds.

Alastor didn't shed his antlers, but every so often they would start growing a layer of velvet. It would thicken over the course of a few weeks, during which they would become horribly sensitive and itchy. When it came time to scratch it off he was usually alone, able to take care of the issue by himself in peace. But Alastor's afterlife had not known peace since Angel Dust strutted into it so obviously Alastor married him.

Being married meant Alastor was not alone in his home when he felt the unignorable urge to scratch his antlers on whatever surface available. In this case he'd ended up using the corner of the bathroom doorframe, ripping deep grooves into the wood and leaving black blood behind when the fuzzy flesh covering his antlers was ripped open. A shudder and a moan left him as a wave of relief washed over him, only to be eaten up by more insistent itching.

"Well that's a pretty noise." Angel said, making Alastor aware of his presence. He gestured downward with one of his lower hands. "Gettin' ready to do some chores, huh?" 

"Can't help it… Dis is humiliatin' enough widout y' makin' fun." Alastor scolded, turning his body so the unwelcome tenting of his wasn't as noticeable.

"I ain't pickin' babe. Just…" Angel faltered, crossing all of his arms and having the sense to avert his eyes. "If you want help I'll be in my room."

"I don't think--"

"With your _antlers._ " Angel clarified. "Got a nail file that'll probably work wonders." 

Angel went to his room, pulling his manicure kit out of a drawer to get the nail file in question. He set it on the corner of his bed and sat down, fiddling around on his phone to pass time. 

Alastor did come in after a few minutes, looking disheveled. He took his coat off and draped it over the camera in the corner. He knew it wasn't on but he had heard of demons hacking webcams to spy and he wasn't sure if a digital camera on a tripod would be different or not and he didn't care to find out. He liked his affections to stay private. 

Angel sat up against the headboard of the bed and guided Alastor to lean back against him, the deer's head on his chest and back on his stomach. He rubbed Alastor's shoulders through his shirt with his lower set of hands, while his higher ones petted the fluffy red ears. Alastor let out an appreciative hum, but Angel could still feel the tension in his back. 

"Just relax babe. I gotcha." Angel soothed, and reached to where he had put the nail file. 

He set it against the tip of the higher prong of Alastor's left antler and gently dragged it down. Alastor squirmed and Angel took the file away, lifting all of his hands so Alastor had the clear option to get up and leave. He didn't, instead pulling one of Angel's lower hands to his chest. Angel smiled and repeated the movement of the file, pressing a bit harder so the thin flesh would break. Blood welled up and Angel took the file away.

"Shit, sorry." 

"It's s'posed to bleed. I'm okay sha." Alastor assured, and Angel could feel his heart speed up under his hand. 

"More than okay." Angel teased, half expecting to be scolded as his mouth once again ran away with him. "Surprised you got any blood goin' up instead of down." 

Instead of reprimanding or even leaving, Alastor chuckled. His shoulders moved against Angel's stomach in a shrug. A good reaction if there ever was one, so Angel resumed filing away gently at the velvet. He wasn't bothered at all by the blood now that he knew it wasn't hurting Alastor, not even when the blood flowed down Alastor's hair and seeped into the fur of his chest. Needing a bath later was well worth hearing the happy hums and feeling his husband struggle not to writhe. Even more worth it when Angel looked away from the antler he was working on just in time to see Alastor's hand slip into the waistband of his pants.

"Can I touch, too?" Angel asked, a hand trailing down Alastor's stomach but waiting for permission.

"...No." Alastor decided after a thought.

"Okay." Angel conceded, pulling his hand back up to rest with the other over his husband's heart. He kissed an eartip and added softly. "Can I see?"

Alastor took a little longer to think about that one, and Angel didn't push. He just continued rubbing velvet from the antler and petting Alastor's ears until Alastor surprised him by unbuttoning his pants and pushing them down enough to expose his cock. Angel took in the sight of it quietly, noting how it was one of the more humanish ones of the spectrum demon genitals tended to rest on. Not fully human though, Angel realized as he could see the beginnings of a knot forming at the base. 

Angel knew better than to make a big deal of it, for once forcing himself to keep his mouth shut. It was a privilege just to watch Alastor touch himself. The deer's hand was quick and clumsy, more trying to get rid of the urge rather than enjoying himself. Angel considered suggesting lube to make the process easier, but he knew that sort of input may be unwanted. 

Angel shifted, bringing his knees up on either side of Alastor and got started with the other antler. Alastor keened gratefully, gripping one of Angel's thighs halfway to ground himself and halfway for leverage as he rutted into his own hand. A snarl escaped him as a particularly stubborn patch of velvet came free, and Angel couldn't help his own heart jumping at the sound.

"Oh _fuck_ …" Angel sighed, his thighs squeezing around Alastor's sides for a moment. "Sorry."

"S'fine." Alastor said quickly as he shuddered, precum leaking from his tip. 

His knot had swollen, Angel noticed, and he wondered if he'd ever get to feel it. Probably not, he knew and accepted, but it was definitely knowledge he was going to be saving for his own fantasies. Nothing wrong with getting himself off later with the thought of the scenario he was in now. 

It was over too quickly, Alastor cumming over his hand and coming undone in Angel's loose hold. He then made a small noise of disgust and wiped his hand off on Angel's other thigh, which Angel couldn't help but laugh at. 

"I think I got it all." Angel reported, running his finger of a newly bare antler. "Unless you can still feel some I missed?" 

Alastor let out a tired sigh and twisted around in Angel's arms, pausing at the sight of just how much he'd bled in the spider's fluff. "We should clean up." 

"Yeah we shou-- _Al!_ " Angel was cut off when Alastor licked the space between his breasts where most of the blood had been dragged by gravity. 

He knew Alastor hated most bodily fluids but Angel figured he should have known blood was an exception. Even Alastor's weird sort that looked more like ink. It was an oddly clinical affair, like being groomed, but the fact that Alastor was doing it with his mouth was the sweetest sort of torture Angel had ever been through. And then Alastor was pushing Angel's shirt up and off, his mouth trailing lower to get to the rest of the blood and the spider could have cried when he stopped.

Alastor sat back, grinning widely as he pulled up his own pants. "Well that was an experience!"

"A good one I hope." Angel mused, flopping sideways to reach for the rack under the bed while Alastor left to wash his hands at least and at most take an entire shower.

Angel shuffled through his different toys, trying to find the blue knotted one he'd bought ages ago. It was longer than Alastor's dick but close enough in shape. At least now that he'd seen it he could buy something more similar but that was an adventure for another day.


	2. Pheromones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel and Alastor are invited onto the News for an interveiw. It goes a little off the tracks.

"Hey babe?" Angel called, leaning back in his chair to peer out of the door of his office. He didn't see Alastor right away but the deer soon came into view to answer the call.

"What'cha got?" 

"Some broad from the news wants to know if we're available to do an interview?" Angel asked, holding up his phone.

"Katie Killjoy?" Alastor guessed.

"That's the bitch!" 

"How lucky!" Alastor brightened, looking almost gleeful. "I've been wondering when I'd have reason to meet the lady Charlie humiliated on live television. Quite the fight that started!"

Most demons would say it was Charlie who had been the one who had been humiliated, but Alastor saw it differently. Charlie had taken all of the verbal venom Katie had spat in her direction rather well all things considered, while Katie had been moved to violence at a single vulgarity. That, in Alastor's opinion, made Charlie the clearly emotionally stronger of the two. Violence for the fun of it was all fair and good but violence due to a lack of wit was just pathetic.

"Well fuck. Now I gotta go just to throw a punch for Cha-Cha." Angel snickered, putting the phone back to his ear. "We're in. It'll be funny."

The interview was a wreck before it even started. It began with a handshake and was all downhill from there.

"Charlie said you didn't touch The Gays." Angel huffed, not taking the hand the mantis of a woman offered.

"Oh it's not as if _you_ count. You're really a woman, aren't you?" Katie asked, not without a generous helping of condescension. 

Alastor's ambient static picked up a notch and the shadows all around the news station started to shift. Angel subtly tapped his elbow, letting him know to tone it down; Angel could fight his own battles. An honest mistake was fine, but this was hardly the first time someone had played the confusion card as an excuse to be transphobic, homophobic, or both at him. Angel decided not to take her hand after all, wiping it on his sleeve and making a show of checking his nails even though he had his usual gloves on. 

"Well I don't touch shit and you seem to be full of it." He bit back.

That wiped the grin off of Katie's face and Alastor laughed as he could see the exact moment she suddenly regretted bringing them both on her show. It was too late to change program scheduling now, since they would be on air in a matter of minutes. 

Tom Trench, at least, was more welcoming as Angel introduced himself to the masked man. Or not masked, he amended when he noticed the gasmask actually was the anchorman's face. A bit too welcoming as he kept stammering over his words as soon as Angel Dust was within a meter of him. Angel thought it cute, aware that Tom was probably a fan. He was a bit touchy too, but that was nothing Angel wasn't used to.

"Keep it in your pants you spineless, rotting--" Katie began to bark at her co-host before sitting quickly as a cameraman signalled her.

Alastor and Angel sat as well, letting Katie introduce them to the audience both watching from home and those that had paid to be physically present. 

"So how long have you two actually been together?" Tom asked cheerfully before Katie could get a word in. 

"Been over a year." Angel shrugged. "It's kinda fuzzy when we actually started."

"We've been officially married for months." Alastor clarified, though he didn't say which month. "We've just kept it quiet."

"I'd keep it quiet too. You actually _married_ a hooker?" Katie taunted.

"Yes." Alastor confirmed, not taking her bait by trying to defend his actions when there was nothing to defend.

"Lucky." Tom muttered.

"It's a bit hard to make personal romantic connections with how many guys--and some girls, those are awkward nights--get a piece of me on the regular. Ain't impossible though." Angel said, taking the bait and twisting it around for his own benefit and, Alastor got the impression, that he may be talking to his former co-workers with that one. "Sex and love are two different things anyway. They're nice together if you can swing it but different shit works for different people." 

"What works for the Radio Demon?" Katie asked, probably going for suggestive but only managing to come off sleazy.

"Oh, Angel does this lovely thing where he'll dance with the pig and sing while cooking. His song choices are hit-or-miss but it's fun seeing him have fun even if he's being gross." Alastor answered, causing Angel's fur to rise in his body's version of a blush.

"Let's Misbehave is your favorite and it's about sex too. Shut the fuck up." Angel snickered.

"Or murder!" Alastor countered.

Giving the lyrics a second run in his head with that context in mind, Angel couldn't even argue. He shrugged, and both he and Alastor took some delight in the confused disappointment on Katie's face. Clearly she had been expecting some sort of steamy detail about their sex life. Too bad that the moments where anything that qualified occurred were few and far between and very, _very_ private.

"Aren't you worried," Katie began, recovering quickly, "That some other demons might take the opportunity to take a shot at an Overlord by targeting his whore?"

"The whore is right here." Angel huffed, running a finger along the space between his eyes since he didn't have a proper nose with a bridge to pinch. "And that already happened."

"Oh?" 

"Yep!" Alastor confirmed, his grin widening. "And now Vox is dead! Though I expect others will still be stupid enough to try."

"Wondered what happened to Vox…" Tom mused. "Valentino was real quiet about it when we asked if he knew anything."

"Speaking of Valentino!" Katie said in a mix of cheerful and sinister as she clicked a button under the news desk.

There was a screen in front of them to show what the greenscreen behind them, and Angel blanched when he recognised an old clip of him and Valentino that hadn't actually been released to Hell's population. Certain parts were blurred, of course, but that hardly counted as a proper censor when everything around the blur was so obvious. Even worse, Angel-on-screen's eyes were glazed over, making him appear nearly dead if not for the sounds accompanying the video.

"I don't even remember that." Angel deflected, though he honestly didn't. He'd seen the video after the fact, vetoing it for public view since Valentino had favored him enough to grant him that right. "I think that was a meth day?"

Alastor brow furrowed, but that was the only indication that he was uncomfortable. At least until Valentino himself showed up from a side-stage, stepping up to take a seat next to Tom, bringing an abrasive scent with him.

"Oh fuck they Jerry Springer'd us." Angel grumbled, too quiet for the mic to pick up.

"What's Jerry Springer?" Alastor asked, his nose twitching.

"Vox's pride and joy." Angel huffed, then glared over at his former boss and ex-pimp. "Val, what the fuck?"

An argument broke out about the clip and the sharing of it. It mostly angered screeching on Angel's part and laughter on Valentino and Katie's. Tom seemed apologetic so long as one ignored that his hands were below the news desk instead of on top of it. 

Angel paused mid-rant when he noticed a faint beeping coming from Alastor. He didn't know morse code by heart, but he knew what an SOS sounded like. They needed to go, and Alastor wasn't about to go showing any weaknesses on live television. So Angel needed to be the one to bail. 

"I ain't playin' this game with you Val." Angel huffed, standing and letting himself look a bit more upset than he would normally show. "I ain't takin' any of this shit. Al, can I go home?" 

"Of course, my Darling!" Alastor nodded gracefully, standing as well and pulling both of them out of the filming area. Quietly, he added _"Thank you."_

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a fuckin' knight in shining sequins." Angel huffed, but grew serious when he noticed Alastor's smile was dim at best, his ears were low, and he kept scrubbing his palm over his nose like it was severely bothering him. "Al? You good?"

"Valentino _smells._ " Alastor grunted, not bothering to keep the irritation out of his tone. 

He pushed away from Angel toward the nearest restroom, letting out a shriek of audio feedback to get the demons in said restroom to leave. Angel followed, startled by the suddenness and volume but not at all put off by it. 

"Yeah he reeks like piss." Angel agreed. "Usually he doesn't. Probably had gross shit scheduled for filming earlier today." 

"No." Alastor said, like Angel was missing the point. "He smells _like a doe._ "

Angel's brows raised, understanding instantly but withholding his comment as he watched Alastor turn the sink on to rinse his face with cold water. If Angel squinted sure enough there was a darker tint of grey under Alastor's eyes and across his face.

"He, uh…" Angel stammered. "Val uses heat-scents as cologne sometimes if he knows he's gonna be around animal-shaped demons. To get a rise out of 'em." 

"A _rise._ " Alastor chuckled bitterly, his claws clicking repeatedly against the sink.

"Pun not intended." Angel huffed, rolling his eyes. "Let's go home?"

"Can't focus…" Alastor sighed. 

"It got you that bad?" Angel asked, surprised. 

"Hush." Alastor huffed, and locked himself in a stall. "Leave."

"You're gonna do chores in public?" Angel ignored the order, knowing Alastor wouldn't enforce it.

"I'm going to wait it out and your presence is making it worse." Alastor reported, the annoyance in his voice growing.

"I'm down to help if you let me." Angel offered. 

"Right now I want to hurt you." Alastor admitted. "Between the smell and the video I don't even know what my body and brain are trying to do but it's very confusing and violence is usually the answer." 

"You can play rough!" Angel permitted. "Hurt me, babe. I don't mind."

Silence.

"Do you actually want me to leave?"

"...No." 

"Open the door?" Angel asked, and the lock on the stall clicked.

Angel let himself into the stall where Alastor had tucked himself into a corner, almost shaking. Angel frowned, sympathetic. He'd been slipped aphrodisiacs in drinks and drugs plenty of times to know they were no joke. Something that preyed on specifically on Alastor's species, something that got real deer to walk right up to a gun, had to be ridiculously strong. 

He didn't have much time to think further as Alastor had him shoved up against the door of the stall, burying his face in Angel's chest and inhaling through the sweetly scented fur, trying to replace the burning smell that had him in such a state in the first place. 

"Ain't wearin' panties if you want up the skirt." Angel offered, and Alastor backed off somewhat.

"No. I can't--" Alastor stammered, the grey sort of blush having furthered. "No."

"Want me to su--"

" _No._ " Alastor whined, his ears flat against his head. "I don't know." 

"Here." Angel tried, knowing that closeness wasn't a problem even if direct skin-to-fur might be. 

He turned them around, boxing Alastor in in a way that if he needed to he could reach the latch on the door and leave the situation entirely. He leaned close, nipping a red ear and pressing a thigh to Alastor's swollen length through his trousers. Alastor bucked against the contact automatically, and his claws dug into Angel's secondary shoulders. 

"Shred me if you wanna." Angel allowed, nuzzling Alastor between the antlers and encouraging him to grind my moving his thigh. "You can bite too. Whatever you wanna do."

Usually Angel wouldn't be as vague to say 'whatever' was allowed, but he trusted Alastor not to do any real damage. Despite being a complete sadist with others, Alastor had always treated Angel like glass by comparison. Very thin glass. Sometimes it was even annoying as much as it was sweet. 

While Angel's top set of hands were busy holding Alastor upright, his second set found the deer's hips. Alastor was clearly working entirely on an instinct he usually preferred to ignore, so a little guidance was needed. Angel felt claws dig into him further, only to release quickly.

"You're okay, Smiles." Angel cooed.

Alastor shivered, giving in to the need for friction and pulling Angel maddeningly closer but still finding the contact somehow lacking. If only he could open Angel up to settle inside near the spider's heart. But that was an empty fantasy he had no plan of actually enacting. Though the smell of blood was certainly alluring, the thought of Angel in the same state he left most victims was sickening. 

Still he couldn't help but bite, the give of Angel's flesh tearing around his teeth being a comfort, even more so the pleased whimper it drew from Angel. He had to force himself to pull away before he did too much damage. Hell forbid he rip his husband's throat out for helping, even accidentally. The sight of it was pretty, Alastor thought, the blood on Angel's fur. Like roses on snow. He whined, partly from a vague sense of guilt at marring his husband's flesh and mostly from the fact Angel's lower hand had found his tail. He usually managed to leave the tail behind in a shift but sometimes the damned thing was stubborn. The fur of it was short and coarse, but Angel didn't mind. It was a nice texture in his opinion anyway.

"You're okay," Angel repeated, shifting to grind back against Alastor's hip while the deer continued to rut against his thigh. "You want me to stop?" 

"Please don't." Alastor only just barely managed to utter, his breath short. 

Angel hummed, hooking a finger into Alastor's high collar and pulling it down to get at his neck. He kept his tongue to himself, and Alastor didn't protest as Angel started to bite and suck a mark into his skin. At some point they'd managed to fall into a rhythm, like dancing almost, and Alastor could hardly breathe. He felt too hot in his clothes, but not at all comfortable taking them off even if they weren't in public. 

They were in _public,_ Alastor realised. He'd already known, of course, but now he was actively thinking about it. He tensed up, and Angel clued into it immediately. 

"You okay?" Angel asked, always so careful with him.

Alastor tried to speak, but it came out as a garbled mess of static. 

"Nod or shake." Angel suggested. "You wanna stop?"

A shake.

"Keep goin'?"

A nod.

"Can I put my hands down your pants?"

A very quick shake.

"Hands over pants?"

Alastor nodded, but he seemed unsure, so Angel kept his movements slow as he slipped the lower hand not on Alastor's tail between the two of them. He kept the hand over clothing, and relished in the sharp intake of breath it drew out of Alastor as he brushed his fingered over the covered bulge. The nod that got was almost enthusiastic and Alastor's hands moved from Angel's side so one was on his hip and the other on the thigh Alastor had been humping. His claws dug in again, drawing blood instantly.

"I got'cha." Angel assured, not bothered as he added a bit of pressure and began stroking Alastor through his trousers.

Angel's usual policy was if a john jizzed in their pants he was obligated to laugh at them. But Alastor wasn't some john and Angel couldn't say something like that to his husband. Besides, it was a privilege to feel Alastor shudder against him, stifling a groan he couldn't keep to himself in Angel's chest. Angel held him through it, biting his own tongue. Now was not the time for his almost total lack of filter. 

"You're really fuckin' cute." Angel's mouth said before his brain could stop it.

Alastor shifted away, grimacing at the mess he'd made of himself. Of both of them, he amended when he noticed the blood all over the wall of the stall. They both needed a good washing. He hated feeling any sort of slimy.

"Home." He exhaled the word almost as if it were a desperate plea, then remembered that teleportation was his own ability and not one Angel had. "I'll take us home in a minute. Let me get my head right."

"Take your time." Angel shrugged. "Might have to find whatever the fuck Val's wearing and buy thirty bottles."

"Do _not._ " Alastor snarled, and Angel laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can buy doe-in-rut at walmart for five dollars every fuckin' winter. Catch Angel in the hunting section shoving the whole stock of it down his cleavage.


	3. Silk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastor notices a little surprise on the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, sweet, and really weird.
> 
> My city is now in a shut down of everything but essentials. Apparently my job counts as essential but i got an hour break and wrote this during.

Being in Hell did not stop the menstrual cycle in those that had them because having a period was, in itself, a form of torture. For animal-shaped demons it got a little weird. Usually for the mammals this manifested in the form of going into a heat but others had more specific things that their bodies just had to do.

Alastor almost didn't even notice it, the silk bag strung up tightly in the corner of the ceiling of his basement. When he finally did notice it, it took him a solid minute to realize what he was looking at. He'd seen eggsacs before, only on a much smaller scale. His heart stopped, confusion and fear and joy all hitting him at once. Why hadn't Angel told him? Was the sac being in the basement his way of telling him?

...Who helped make the eggs?

They certainly weren't his, but Alastor supposed it didn't matter. They were Angel's and that meant they were to be cared for. He wasn't sure he could move the eggsac without hurting it so he left it where it was and sat to start up his usual morning segment. It was less interesting than his nightly broadcast, more about music and less about murder, but glancing up at the eggsac while talking about expected weather he supposed it was a good thing. 

Angel woke up much later than Alastor did, and waited for the talking to end and the music to start before he came down to the basement to bid his husband good morning. He was surprised to be crushed in a hug as soon as his foot reached the last stair step.

"Sheesh, Smiles." Angel chuckled. "Missed me that bad after an hour?"

"I saw de eggs." Alastor pulled back. "If y' was tryina hide 'em y' done a bad job." He teased.

Angel groaned, covering his face after looking up to the corner. The spider in him had decided that near Alastor's space was the safest place for eggs to be, and the human part of his brain was too tired to remember to tear the sac down and get rid of it.

"Fuck's sake." Angel huffed, pulling away to crawl up the wall and remove the silk bag.

"How many did you lay?" Alastor asked.

Angel misread his husbands want to know how many children they would be having as just a healthy dose of curiosity.

"I dunno. Couple hundred." Angel shrugged, climbing back down and turning in time to see Alastor waver on his feet and quickly sit in the kill chair since it was closer than the one at his desk.

"A couple _hundred_..." Alastor repeated, feeling just a bit nauseous.

"Yeah. It's fuckin' gross." Angel agreed, again misreading.

"Y' think we can raise dat many?" Alastor asked.

Angel squinted at him, confusion clear on his face before the pieces clicked together and he realized the misunderstanding that was happening.

"Al, babe. We're fuckin' _dead._ " He held the eggsac up. "These are all empty."

Alastor's static picked up as he realized his mistake. The shock of the eggs even existing had made him forget Sinners couldn't breed. Still his own lineage did put a few unknown variables into the mix.

"I'm half Loa." He pointed out. "Dat could change some'n."

"You haven't jizzed in me." Angel pointed out.

"I've done it _on_ you." Alastor continued.

"That's not how babies work!" Angel snorted.

"I know dat but Hell got weird logic!" Alastor defended as Angel continued to laugh at him. "Why'd y' put 'em up in here if dey blanks?" 

"Because I was runnin' on instinct at the time and even as out of it as I was I trust you!" Angel explained, wheezing. "I lay eggs every fuckin' year. I just usually remember to get rid of them after.

The admission of trust was sweet, even if it was something Alastor already knew. Still, it was embarrassing that he'd actually believed for a while that babies, or even just one baby, was a possibility for them. In a few ways it was, but not the natural way. 

"You were actually ready to try takin' care of two hundred kids?" Angel tossed the eggsac in the garbage. 

"If you wanted to keep all of them and they all hatched I would certainly try."

"Eh, I'd crush most of them if they had anything in them _to_ hatch." Angel shrugged. "Maybe keep one." He allowed, then thought of Molly. "Nah, two. Twins rule."

"Oh thank goodness." Alastor sighed in relief. Two hundred or so really was too many at once.


	4. Capsaicin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deer, perticularly whitetailed deer, are very lenient eaters. Spiders are a bit more limited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but im trying to drag myself out of a drop so he's angel getting dunked on orally in a way he aint used to.

Alastor enjoyed spicy foods. Of course he did. He _was_ from Louisiana. And as an added effect of both becoming a demon and the fact the species his demon form took on was that of a whitetail deer which could eat anything from poison ivy to bone, there was very little that Alastor couldn't now ingest.

Angel was a little more sensitive to what he ate. He could still handle some level of spicy, so most of Alastor's cooking wasn't too much to handle as long as there was milk nearby. Or cheese. Being a decent italian cook himself, Angel usually kept plenty of both in the fridge.

It was some sort of soup that started it. Alastor had made it on an impulse, tossing things into a pot purely on intuition. It came out pretty good for a first draft, so Alastor quickly scribbled about what he did, using measurements like 'a handful of', 'about two seconds of', and 'a golly', instead of actual numbers and tools because when Alastor cooked he couldn't be bothered to size things out the correct way. 

"Food is felt." He'd said when Angel questioned it.

"Yeah well yours feels pretty good." Angel had quipped, leaning heavily against Alastor's back.

"...I know you're trying to turn that into an innuendo but I can't fathom how." Alastor admitted.

Angel laughed and left him to finish the soup, bringing bowls down from the cabinet and a tiny bowl for Nuggets too. He passed them to Alastor who filled them before bringing them to the table and setting the little one on the floor. 

"Don't touch mine." Alastor said as he didn't sit down right away.

Angel was not one to be told he couldn't do something, so as soon as Alastor turned away to pull something out of the icebox, Angel leaned over the table and shoved a spoonful from Alastor's bowl into his mouth. The jalepeños he expected and were usually tolerable if they were in something, but his mouth slowly started to burn worse than jalepeños ever caused. 

"I told you not to." Alastor tutted as Angel took the bait he'd tossed, turning back in time to notice Angel's watering eyes. He pulled a small bottle out of his pocket, labeled 'Carolina Reaper' and grinned widely. The bottle was empty. "I put an extra kick in mine."

"A whole bottle?!" Angel huffed, and realized talking made it worse. 

Angel went for the icebox, but Alastor shut the door and held it closed. Angel couldn't budge it and was reminded that Alastor was stronger than he looked. Also bigger and heavier than he looked because when Angel tried to shove him he didn't budge.

"Y' did this to y' self sha. Back to y' seat."

"Lemme, fuck, let me get a drink?" Angel asked.

"No." Alastor declined, nudging Angel back toward the table with a wink.

 _Oh_ , Angel realized somewhere between the waves of pain shooting from his mouth to his sinuses. Alastor was _playing._

Well, Angel could play along. He sat back down, drooling more than he could control. Breathing inward helped but then he had to breathe out again which burned. Alastor sat down too, watching Angel over the table while he ate. He was completely unbothered by the pain his soup was apparently capable of afflicting, but the glint in his eyes told Angel he was thoroughly interested in watching Angel try to bear it. 

Angel wondered if this was going to be a reaction game or a time game; If Alastor was seeing how it would affect him or how long he could take it. It wasn't the first time Angel had found himself as the subject of some sort of powerplay but usually it came with less clothes and something in him. The food and complete separation from sex was new. Only Alastor would find away to be kinky entirely on accident, Angel thought with an inward chuckle that he nearly choked on because somehow even breathing was spicy. Thank goodness he didn't have a conventional nose or he was sure it would be running.

Angel couldn't even taste his own soup when he tried to eat it. The warmth did him no favors though. He slapped the table in an effort to redirect his brain to focus on something other than the agony his mouth was in.

"Some'n de matter?" Alastor asked, feigning innocence at the same time he was issuing a challenge.

"Oooohoohoo I'm fine." Angel struggled, hoping that his mouth would go numb soon since the spice was only getting stronger. Even worse it was starting to burn all the way down his esophagus. 

Alastor's smile widened and Angel was proud of the unsaid praise even when he was pretty sure his mouth had to be blistering. It wasn't, but that's what it felt like. Actually on second thought, Angel couldn't help but make a mental comparison to putting a haircurler in his mouth while it was on. 

He finally had to tap out when his eyes started to.burn which he wasn't even sure how. His breathing had gone from barely tolerable to being like exhaling razors and he'd started to shake. 

"Not fine," He admitted when it became too much.

Immediately Alastor's amused gaze shifted to a more concerned one and he got up to bring the spider milk, bread, and a cup of ice. "Y' managed better'n I 'spected." He said softly as he watched Angel pour milk in the ice and chug it. "Reaper's a mean pepper, even diluted. Not even s'posed to touch it with y' bare hands." 

"Fuckin' lava…" Angel only groaned and wiped his eyes before turning to the bread while Alastor poured more milk for him.


	5. Cramped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over time trying to stick to a body that's on too tight gets tiring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This happens fairly early in the relationship, before they're engaged.
> 
> I made art for this bit! Link: https://bayouboy-alastor.tumblr.com/post/619949207427727360

Hell warped Sinners upon death. It twisted the soul into a matching body. Often the Sinners new body would be a reflection of the severity or number of their sins. The worse the soul was, the less human the body would appear. Often, but not always. Everything had a workaround.

Shapeshifting was possible to an extent for many demons. Angel dust, for example, could control the number of arms he had. There was always a set amount of mass, however, and so it took quite a bit of energy to maintain a shift that crushed a very large demon into a smaller, denser shape. Alastor was more powerful than most demons so he could maintain his humanoid form for quite a long time, but it felt a bit like wearing shoes that were too small. He could do it but it became increasingly uncomfortable the longer he did it. 

In his natural form he was a large deer, twelve feet tall at the shoulder and even taller including his head and antlers. His skull, spine, and a few ribs showed outside of his skin and fur, and his shape made it clear that he suffered of starvation. His fur matched his hair, red for the most part and black where a real deer would be white, and was coarse. Much less inviting that Angel's own soft fur. Nothing about Alastor was soft, and though normally it didn't bother him he still found himself self-conscious of how the spider viewed him in his true state so he kept a human face on as long as he could maintain one, far past the point of it hurting.

Angel saw through his painfully forced smiles easily.

"Babe just take your skin off." Angel urged. "I've already seen you spooky." 

"While I was hurt." Alastor huffed. "It's hardly becoming." 

_With a dick that huge I'd be coming gallons,_ Angel just barely stopped himself from blurting out. He'd been doing better about watching his mouth regarding his boyfriend. Instead, he only let his second, more encouraging thought get from his brain to his mouth. 

"It's still you either way, ain't it?" Angel shrugged. "No big deal, just big deer."

Alastor, fond of wordplay, couldn't help but laugh at that. 

"Oh wait, I get it." Angel wasn't quite done though. If Alastor wouldn't give himself a break on his own merit, Angel would just have to embarrass him into wanting to. "You just want to stay the right height to put your face in my fluffy tits when I hug you." 

"That is not--!" 

"Ain't no shame!" Angel snickered, pulling a somewhat disgruntled Radio Demon into his many arms. "I'd probably do the same if I wasn't such an ass man."

" _Angel,_ " Alastor warned and the spider quickly let him go.

"Okay, okay." Angel held all four hands up peacefully. "I'm sorry for pushin'. I can just tell you need a break… I'll get out of your hair if you don't want me to see you." 

Alastor sighed heavily, shaking his head. "Stay," He decided, and gestured vaguely downward. "But take de boots off?"

"Oh come on, Al. Nobody sees my feet but me." Angel scoffed.

Alastor only raised a brow in response, but it was a very clear expression. 

"Fuckin'... Fiiiine." Angel whined, but knew it was a fair enough thing as he sat down and unzipped the leather on his legs.

Out of the corner of his eye he watched Alastor's form waver and grow, not wanting to be too obvious about paying attention. Making a big deal out of the situation would only prevent it from happening again and he wanted Alastor to be as comfortable around him as possible. He smiled to himself, kicking his boots the rest of the way off. If he had to show his weird feet for a while to get the other to take care of himself then he would do so without any further complaints than the initial one.

"Hm." Alastor said, not as subtle about looking right at Angel's feet. "For as much fuss as you make about them I expected stranger."

Angel's feet were long-clawed, two-toed paws. The fur around them was a bit longer than the fur on the rest of the spider's body. Angel rolled his eyes and raised one.

"It's more the fact legs this hot end like _that._ " Angel said, wiggling his toes. "Plus the fact I don't show them means people with fetishes wanna see them more so I definitely don't wanna feed those rats. Vicious cycle, I know."

Alastor chuffed, and Angel had no idea whether it was a laugh or a snort but it definitely came out of Alastor's nose. Or, more accurately for the moment, his nasal cavity. His front legs folded under him, hind legs following suit a moment after as he settled on the floor. Standing, he was just a bit too tall for the room but this was meant to be a time for rest anyway. 

Angel reached out, grinning widely but stopping just short of Alastor's skull. The deer chose to close the space, tucking his face into Angel's arms while being extra careful of his antlers which wound up curling over Angel's primary shoulders. Angel's hands carefully explored the edges of where bone met skin and fur, waiting for Alastor to pull away and only growing happier every moment that it didn't happen. 

"Your face like this would probably hold a lip print way longer than skin." Angel mused absently. "I could grab my make up box and we could find out?" 

"Y' can't really still be attracted to me dis way." Alastor snorted in disbelief.

"I can." Angel protested, running a hand over the bony ridge of Alastor's snout and kissing the sharp cheekbone. "Cuz it's _you_."

The deer didn't have proper eyes at the moment, but Angel didn't miss the dials set into his eye sockets turned, rolling. 

"You're strange." Alastor chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love giant beastforms......
> 
> What? No i didn't watch Howls Moving Castle every day for a solid year as a kid. _Who told you?_


End file.
